Love is in the air....

Lets deal with one of the most debatable topic, Which is better, Arranged Marriage or Love Marriage? Though arranged marraige is synonymous to marriages in most part of India, the trend has been moving slowly towards love marraiges. But the shocking fact is that love marriages still creates furor in many families, Kavi describes about the agitation created due to his cousin's marraige.
Most of us feel arranged marriage is peculiar to India, but the truth is, arranged marraiges have been happening even in the Victorian age.
There is wide belief for researchers that arranged marriage was started in India when child marriage became customary. It is also believed that caste system plays a huge hand in promoting arranged marriage.
I am very much a pro-love marraige person. The reasons why I feel love marriage is better are:
1. I have the option to know my life partner well before commiting into a relationship.
2. Solves the problem of Dowry.
3. The man and woman will appreciate each other much better since they know each other pretty well.
4. By increasing the occurance of love marraige slowly the caste and sub-caste system can be abolished.
5. People will become more personality conscious.
6. People will be more motivated to achieve more in life because a person will always try to get the best possible person only.
7. It also puts a urge to settle faster in life.
8. Will reduce the burden on the brides house for marriage expenses.
According to a survey done by Times of India in Lucknow on Aug 2005, love seems to be the way how youngsters feel marriages should be done. As per the survey 56% of Lucknow youngsters feel happy matrimony is by love marriage with parental consent. 31.5% of the younsters said that they will marry the persom whom their parents will choose. While the remaining 12.5% said that they will marry the person whom they love irrespective of who agrees and not agrees.
49% of the people feel that love-cum-arranged marraige works much better than arranged marraige(37%) or even love marriage(13%).
A general mis-conception about love is that it happens by the looks and its more of a infactuation. But as per the survey, it has made it clear that looks does not matter at all as a criteria to choose their partner. The things that matter are career of life partner matters(44.5%), family background(36.5%), looks(11.5%) and income group(7.5%).
When love is appreciated on reel life why not in real life?

(Sources: Times of India)

Varta...

Newyork Nagaram

I happened to watch the song Newyork nagaram from the movie Sillendru Oru Kaadhal. I was totally disappointed at the way the video has been taken. The video is like watching some powerpoint presentation. I seriously pity A.R.Rahaman. As some of you know, I had imagined how this song will be picturised. The actual song is no where close to what I had imagined. My imagination goes as follows.

1. Newyork nagaram urangum neram thanimai adarnthathu
2. Paniyum padarnthathe...
3. Kappal irangiye kaatrum karayil nadanthathe
4. Naangu kannadi suvarkalukulle naanum mezhuguvathiyum
5. Thanimai thanimaiyo kodumai kodumaiyo.

line 1 & 2: We show a tall rised building in Newyork in the night with the office place dark with light only in one cubicle. Surya sits in that cubicle leaning back in his chair lost in thoughts about Jyothika.
line 3: A small table fan while oscillating, blows some paper on this desk. Surya just watches the flying papers.
line 4: The Camera goes up and shows that he is confided by four walls of his cubicle.
line 5: He stretches while sitting on his chair.
During the intermediate music we show some pleasant scenes of Surya and Jyothika which had come in the movie already.

6. Newyork nagaram urangum neram thanimai adarnthathu
7. Paniyum padarnthathe...
8. Kappal irangiye kaatrum karayil nadanthathe
9. Naangu kannadi suvarkalukulle naanum mezhuguvathiyum
10. Thanimai thanimaiyo thanimai thanimaiyo kodumai kodumaiyo.

line 6 & 7: He gets up from his seat and walks towards the glass window in front of his cubicle.
line 8: He sees out of the window and on the road paper flies due to gusty winds.
line 9: He just spreads his hand little bit and lies on the window glass facing his cubicle and feels for jyothika.
line 10: he turns towards the road slowly and sticks to the glass meanwhile the camera moves as he turns and camera pictures him from outside the building by the time the line ends
Intermediate music he packs his bag and starts and every now and then he sees Jyothika at the door way, elevator etc. but actually she is not there. Its just his imagination.

11. Pechellam thalatu pola yenna uranga vaika nee illai
12. Dinamum oru mutham thanthu kaalai coffee koduka nee illai
13. vizhiyil vizhum thoosi thannai naaval yeduka nee ingu illai
14. Manathil yezhum kuzhappam thannai theerka nee inge illai
15. Naan inge neeyum angae intha thanimaiyil nimishangal varusham aanatheno
16. Van ingae neelam angae intha uvamaikku iruvarum vilakkam aanatheno

Lines 11 through 16 is like Surya recollecting different incidents in the past.
line 11: Surya will be lying on Jyothika's lap and she will be talking, when she turns she finds that Surya has dozed off, she taps on his head and wakes him up.
line 12: Early morning Jyothika wakes Surya by giving a kiss and gives him a coffee, but he will spit it out, because she would have added salt instead of sugar.
line 13: She will try to remove some dust from his eyes with her tongue but Surya will jump around in pain. This is because she would have eaten something spicy just before that.
line 14: Jyothika with lot of strain will try to help him solve some problem, but Surya will just toss a coin and decide.
line 15: Screen will split into two, one half showing Surya in the terrace of a building in Newyork and the other half showing Jothika in India waking up in the morning.
line 16: Surya will be in his office terrace, camera will be low and shows Surya with the sky background as the line progresses the camera will go up (crane shot) and Surya will be with a water back ground(assuming his building is near the sea).
Intermediate music some pleasant scenes of Surya and Jyothika and he reaches the bus stand.

17. Naatkuripil 100 thadavai unthan peyarai yezhuthum yen pena
18. Yezhuthiyathum erumbu moika peyarum aanathu yenna thena
19. Jil yendru boomi irunthum intha tharunathil kulir kalam kodai aanathu yeno
20. Va anbe neeyum vanthaal senthanel kooda pani katti pola aagume

line 17: He takes his diary and writes her name while waiting for the bus.
line 18: While writing an ant walks across his diary page.
line 19: He gets up from the bus stand and starts walking and he passes through a bon fire.
line 20: Walks on a wet road with snow on the sides of the street.
Ending music he keeps walking. In between he hugs a lap post and later swings on the lamp post before letting go and continues to walk. The camera follows till the songs is sung. Once the end music starts, the camera stops and he keeps moving away from the camera on a straight wet road. The road will be with lots of signals at many intersections blinking.
I am so disappointed that I decided to take revenge. So as a revenge I have sung the song. I think for the kind of video that they have taken it doesnt need A.R.R's voice mine is good enough. Listen to it at your own risk. I will not be held responsible to any after-effects on you for listening to the song.


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Varta...

Growing Vs Raising

Do Indians plan for a kid or do they just have a kid as a duty? Indian's here I mean Indians, not counting NRI's because all the NRI's I have seen care for their kids more than their counterparts in India. I may be wrong making this statement, but this is what I have observed.
I don't know why this question popped in my mind suddenly, but I feel many parents in India do not give enough time for their kids. Just because they have a kid they provide food, clothing, shelter and education. The last one being subjective to the financial condition of the family.
During my days in hostel I have found many guys scared to even talk to their father. They used to look at their father as some Godzilla or something. They used to run away at the sight of their father. I am just wondering if that's how a father- kid relation should be? is it a healthy relationship? I find this kind of father-kid attitude mostly in smaller towns than in the urban crowd. Generally I find that such parents do not enjoy spending time with their kids playing or going out, etc., This has made me wonder if they just have kids just for the mere reason of having kids and for the society?
On a contrast if you consider NRI parents and few parents in the urban community, they love spending time with their kids. Parents are more like friends for the kids, the kids find it at ease to express what they feel. The parents devote so much time for the kids and their activities. Though off late I see a lot of parents being involved in work so much that they have compromised their quality time spent with their kids.
Considering all these I feel that the next gen parents should plan for the timing of a kid than have a kid just because they got married. Luckily my parents fall under the second category, who are like my friends than parents, My parents devoted so much time for me and gave me so much freedom to express my views and feelings. Thanks Dad and Mom!

Varta...

I don't know

I don't know why people are so reluctant to say that they don't know something when they don't know. When I think about it, I don't understand why they are so scared or ashamed to say that they don't know something.
I feel its perfefctly ok to say "I don't know" when I dont know. I don't like to beat around the bush like how many people do. I dont feel ashamed to say "I don't know". I can't be expected to know everything in this World. There are a lot of unknowns in this World for me. I had one such incident during one of my interviews long time back, It was a technical interview and the interviewer was asking all kind of questions. I answered some of questions for which I knew the answer, for the rest I told him directly that I don't know. So this guy asked me, How I could say I don't know in an interview. I told him that I am learning from my experience and I haven't worked in the area that he was questioning and hence I could not answer his questions. Well I did'nt get that job. But I felt that I did the right thing.
I have also come across people who alter their resume as per the requirement advertisement. They say that they know a lot of things that they actually don't. I feel its completely wrong to do that way. Why not say "I don't know" when they don't know?
I also believe that unless we accept that we don't know, we can't learn. If X beleive s that he knows when he does'nt know then I am pretty sure that X won't be putting the effort to learn what ever he does not know.
When I searched the net I came across some interesting analysis on this subject. Most of us think that we either know something or we don't know something. But the author says that the more acurate way to look at this is

You can either know or not know something, and you can also know or not know whether you know or not.

As per the author, knowledge can be split into four quadrants with "what I know" as a dimension and "awareness of my knowledge" as the second dimension.
The best quadrant to be is in the first quadrant, To know that you know. If not in that quadrant then it is better to be in the 3rd quadrant, where you know that you don't know so you can learn what you don't know. You become teachable when you are in this quadrant. When you don't know what you know, you just wasting your knowledge.
When you are in the fourth quadrant, where you don't know that you don't know, this is when the communication becomes a problem. A person in this quadrant become self-proclaimed experts, ready to share their opinions to anybody ready to listen and thus refuse to listen or learn from others.

(Source: STSC)

Varta...

What's the driver?

What should be the driving factor? Should it be career opurtunities in your place or should it be driven by the individuals interest? I am not sure how many of you will agree with me that in India we generally go by the career options available. I too have done the same.
But thinking now I sometimes feel that I should have gone by my interests and not by the career opurtunities that are there. I have heard a lot about foreign countries where people go by their interests. I have heard people telling me that one day a person may be a truck driver but another day he might be in the IT department of a company. Another instance which I heard from my colleague, he said that he met a person in Hawaii who is currently a tourist guide in Hawaii but before this he was a programmer earlier.
In India, now everyone becomes a Doctor or an Engineer. Not many people consider other options like for example Forrensic study. I never knew that such a course existed until I visited Madras university along with my friend once.
Like for example if we take Stephen Robert Irwin he could have taken a job just like anyone else, but he went by his interest to become a Crocodile hunter. I feel he has acheived something in his life by being someone distinct during his times. I admire him a lot. May his soul rest in peace and his family be given the courage and strength to overcome this huge loss.
Is money the only driving factor for us? Should't we value our interest also while deciding upon the profession that you want to choose?

Varta...